The Learning Curve

They were finally in a comfortable place in their travels, but it hadn’t come easy. The learning curve was steep, and it had exacted a toll.

While they were both very happy to finally be done with construction and upgrades to Gabrielle, and to have left the boatyard, both of them were out of practice- in her case, she had done little or no coastal cruising of this sort, and in his case, it had been years since he had made a passage. Both were aware of their limitations and how much they had to learn now, and at times the tension between them was palpable.

He was being hyper-vigilant about the boat, the wind, the sails… all that sailing a boat entails. The feeling of a boat under sail he knew- but not on this boat. His senses were tuned to maximum sensitivity- watching, listening, feeling, working to familiarize himself with all this new information in the shortest time possible. It wore on him. He very quickly wanted nothing more than to be able to relax for a little bit, to not let every little noise or rattle make him startle, and to not feel the burden of responsibility.

Her needs were different. As familiar as she was with Gabrielle from seemingly endless months working on her, the actual sailing of her was a new experience. Before this adventure, she knew her way- she was in command of her day to day life, and enjoyed that feeling. This was something completely different.

Her reaction was to question everything, and she wanted answers immediately. Often (most of the time), her questions were about things that he was still trying to sort out. When this happened, he would pause to think about his answer. Not having a ready answer frustrated him, made him feel inadequate. Not getting an answer from him right away quickly ratcheted up her anxiety.

It was an unpleasant dynamic, and manifested itself as tension in her voice and body language, and grim silence in his. A few times, one or the other would release an outburst of frustration, and usually it would be immediately walked back. Sometimes it didn’t, and hurt silence fouled the atmosphere.

He knew this could not go on for long, or the cruise wouldn’t last for more than a few weeks. After one particularly tense day, after harsh words had been exchanged, he decided to try something- “Okay,” he said, faking cheeriness, “ Let’s do a debriefing- everything we did right, and everything we did wrong. And NO FAULTS, just facts!”

There seemed to be an immediate sense of relief, for both of them. As they discussed what had worked that day and what hadn’t, both began to let go of the idea that the other was at fault for his or her own discomfort, or that they were at odds with each other in their purpose. A turning point began, where they finally started to feel like partners again in this journey, that they had a common goal.

Not that there weren’t tense moments from then on- there were plenty. They were still learning a new boat, in unfamiliar waters, after years of inactivity. They made lots of mistakes- and learned from every one of them. But it did not take too much longer for them to begin to feel confident again, and look forward to the miles ahead.